Hello Everyone!!!
It's time to begin preparing for Breast Cancer month. October is almost here and most of us know at least one person who has or have been diagnosed with breast cancer. With today's technology, many people make a full recovery. Many women have to undergo chemotherapy to treat their cancer, resulting in hair loss.
Men, women, and children suffer from hair loss issues. Most people suffer in silence. The victims of hair loss, especially if it's sudden, most times, feel like they are missing a part of themselves. Some are embarrassed, while others are "shy" and won't openly discuss it. With men and women alike, it would help, if the cosmetologist or barber was "trained" in this area to offer more solutions. And, to create a comfortable atmosphere to have the discussion.
I am hosting my third Hair Loss and Business Conference. It will be held October 7th-8th, 2012 at the Atlanta Airport Westin Hotel. The purpose of this conference is to educate the professionals as well as ANYONE who is suffering from hair loss. On Sunday, starting at 9:00 a.m., I will be conducting a class entitled: Solutions to Hair Loss. Dr. Stacy Haynes, dermatologist, will follow teaching a class entitled: Bridging the Gap: Dermatologists and Cosmetologists. Many people visit the dermatologist because of hair loss problems, therefore, if their cosmetologist or barber was collaborating with the medical professional to treat the client, their "joint" efforts will lead to positive results.
Sam McCray is a wonderful make-up artist, who will share his skills in a class: The Proper Steps of Applying Flawless Make-up. Mrs. Yolanda Broom will follow with a business/law class on: The Legal Process of Business. She is an attorney and works for the government writing and presenting contracts. Sunday will end with a powerful speaker, Mrs. Eunice Dudley. Mrs. Dudley is the co-founder of Dudley Products. She is a breast cancer survivor and will discuss her illness while continuing to run a multi-million dollar business in a class entitled: Surviving Breast Cancer and Running a Business.
On Sunday night, we will be celebrating my 10th year anniversary with food, fun, and laughter!!!!
Monday morning starts with Mrs. Peggy Thornhill, a Certified Hair Loss Specialist, who has been in the hair restoration business for over 20 years. In her class, Owning and Operating a Hair Loss Center she will share tips on the "do's and dont's" and how to get paid through insurance companies for hair loss clients who qualify.
Mr. Charles Fields, will teach us about obtaining government grants. His class, Non-Profit Organizations and Federal Grants, Mr. Fields will provide the proper information needed to set up a non-profit organization. And, he will discuss how to obtain funds from the government to assist with the mission of your organization.
The two days will be filled with a wealth of knowledge for the professionals to return to their businesses and prepare for 2013. If you are NOT in the hair industry, you will receive information that can be utilized in your life or in your business. And, lastly, if you would like to come and celebrate my 10th Anniversary with us on Sunday night, be there at 7:00 p.m. with $40.00 (includes only the celebration, NOT the classes) and be sure to "Dress to Impress!!!!":-)
For more information or to register, visit www.tonilove.com (conference price) or call 770-704-7653.
Create a Better Day!!!!!
Toni Love
Author: "The World of Wigs, Weaves, and Extensions" (Sold everywhere, Amazon.com, Walmart.com)
Facebook: Toni Love Cosmtology 2
Twitter: @Cosmogirl205
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
The NEXT Chapter......
Hello Everyone!!!!
As we go through life, things will happen and we won't always understand the reasons. I have learned over the years, "nothing just happens." Nothing is a coincidence, there is no such thing as luck, and there is not always a concrete answer for the question, "why?" I have learned to accept these concepts and move forward.
These concepts can apply to our personal and professional lives. Many times, we may not have the needed support or tools to accomplish the finished goal. Over the years, I have taught high school students and adults and I've listened to them verbalize their dreams. A lot of them, had no clue how these dreams would be fulfilled or the tools needed to make them come true.
You have to take time to "get real" with yourself. You have to stop living the way society has deemed to be correct. You have to stop "pretending" and "putting on a show" for other people. You have to stop lying about what you have and "name dropping" to impress people. You have to stop "chasing the superiors on the job," trying to impress them, when they don't have a genuine interest in you. At the end of the day, when you're driving in your car or at home alone, how do you feel?
Do you feel good about your life and yourself? Do you spend time alone, conducting "self-talk," thinking of ways to improve and accepting "YOUR" reality? Many people are married and have families and still feel alone. If this is so, it's time to make the necessary changes. And, if you answered "no" to the previous questions, it's time to answer "yes." It's time to make changes. It's time to move into the "NEXT CHAPTER" of your life.
During the next chapter of your life, after "getting real with yourself," the new you will evolve. Your direction will be clear. Big changes will occur, new career opportunities will present themselves, prestigious new positions are awaiting, and there will be a rise in income and status. I have a friend who decided to "get real" with himself after struggling with denial and negative pressures for over twelve (12) years and today he tells me, he's clean and free. He stepped out on faith and refuses to look back.
Don't you want to be "clean and free?"
Create a Better Day!!!
Toni Love
Author: "The World of Wigs, Weaves, and Extensions," sold everywhere: Amazon.com, Walmart.com, etc.
Twitter: @cosmogirl205
www.tonilove.com
As we go through life, things will happen and we won't always understand the reasons. I have learned over the years, "nothing just happens." Nothing is a coincidence, there is no such thing as luck, and there is not always a concrete answer for the question, "why?" I have learned to accept these concepts and move forward.
These concepts can apply to our personal and professional lives. Many times, we may not have the needed support or tools to accomplish the finished goal. Over the years, I have taught high school students and adults and I've listened to them verbalize their dreams. A lot of them, had no clue how these dreams would be fulfilled or the tools needed to make them come true.
You have to take time to "get real" with yourself. You have to stop living the way society has deemed to be correct. You have to stop "pretending" and "putting on a show" for other people. You have to stop lying about what you have and "name dropping" to impress people. You have to stop "chasing the superiors on the job," trying to impress them, when they don't have a genuine interest in you. At the end of the day, when you're driving in your car or at home alone, how do you feel?
Do you feel good about your life and yourself? Do you spend time alone, conducting "self-talk," thinking of ways to improve and accepting "YOUR" reality? Many people are married and have families and still feel alone. If this is so, it's time to make the necessary changes. And, if you answered "no" to the previous questions, it's time to answer "yes." It's time to make changes. It's time to move into the "NEXT CHAPTER" of your life.
During the next chapter of your life, after "getting real with yourself," the new you will evolve. Your direction will be clear. Big changes will occur, new career opportunities will present themselves, prestigious new positions are awaiting, and there will be a rise in income and status. I have a friend who decided to "get real" with himself after struggling with denial and negative pressures for over twelve (12) years and today he tells me, he's clean and free. He stepped out on faith and refuses to look back.
Don't you want to be "clean and free?"
Create a Better Day!!!
Toni Love
Author: "The World of Wigs, Weaves, and Extensions," sold everywhere: Amazon.com, Walmart.com, etc.
Twitter: @cosmogirl205
www.tonilove.com
Friday, July 20, 2012
Be Still
Hello Everyone!!
We are in the heart of summer and it's a great time to re-evaluate your business and your personal life. This is a great time to plan for fall events, like running back to school specials, Labor Day specials, tail gating parties, etc. This is also a time to reflect on what is and not working. We're a bit past the halfway mark of the year, so there is plenty of time to make preparations for 2013.
This is the time to plan for a New Year's promotion within the business, trend releases for fall and spring, as well as, introducing new services to the market. It's time to define your demographics, know your client base, anazlyze your business as it pertains to the clients' needs and wants. Gather the staff and on a personl level, the family, and discuss the new goals and ideas going forward.
In life and in business, we can have a million ideas running through our minds. We have to realize, we can't do everything at once. Sometimes, we have to "BE STILL" and listen to our inner thoughts. Take time to write ideas on paper and devise a plan.
In our personal and professional lives, we are moving fast and going nowhere. We are not accomplishing any goals, because we haven't taken time to identify them and devise a plan of action. Many times, we are thinking about the past and what could have been or a mistake we made and can't move forward.
This is the time to be still and quiet. Take a piece of paper and write the "pros and cons" of your anticipated decision. When you do this, don't make any hasty decisions, wait until you feel it in your gut and then move on it. Therefore, it feels right and there are no regrets.
So, best wishes as you move forward and conquer your goals for the remainder of 2012!
Create a Better Day!!
Toni Love
Author: "The World of Wigs, Weaves, and Extensions" (sold everywhere; Walmart.com, Amazon,com)
Facebook: Toni Love Cosmetology
Twitter: @cosmogirl205
We are in the heart of summer and it's a great time to re-evaluate your business and your personal life. This is a great time to plan for fall events, like running back to school specials, Labor Day specials, tail gating parties, etc. This is also a time to reflect on what is and not working. We're a bit past the halfway mark of the year, so there is plenty of time to make preparations for 2013.
This is the time to plan for a New Year's promotion within the business, trend releases for fall and spring, as well as, introducing new services to the market. It's time to define your demographics, know your client base, anazlyze your business as it pertains to the clients' needs and wants. Gather the staff and on a personl level, the family, and discuss the new goals and ideas going forward.
In life and in business, we can have a million ideas running through our minds. We have to realize, we can't do everything at once. Sometimes, we have to "BE STILL" and listen to our inner thoughts. Take time to write ideas on paper and devise a plan.
In our personal and professional lives, we are moving fast and going nowhere. We are not accomplishing any goals, because we haven't taken time to identify them and devise a plan of action. Many times, we are thinking about the past and what could have been or a mistake we made and can't move forward.
This is the time to be still and quiet. Take a piece of paper and write the "pros and cons" of your anticipated decision. When you do this, don't make any hasty decisions, wait until you feel it in your gut and then move on it. Therefore, it feels right and there are no regrets.
So, best wishes as you move forward and conquer your goals for the remainder of 2012!
Create a Better Day!!
Toni Love
Author: "The World of Wigs, Weaves, and Extensions" (sold everywhere; Walmart.com, Amazon,com)
Facebook: Toni Love Cosmetology
Twitter: @cosmogirl205
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
You Can't Go Forward; Looking Back!!!
Hello Everyone!!!!
Thank you for all the birthday wishes and gifts last month. I had a a very memorable birthday and I'm so grateful to still be here; alive and healthy!! As we age, we are supposed to grow and expand our minds. Sometimes in life, we get "stuck." We get stuck on the "woulda, coulda, shoulda." I hear people saying what they should have done or what they could have done to move forward in life.
They say it as it relates to personal and business matters. Many times, we think about a lost love and we daydream about what could have been or a business opportunity that presented itself; and we passed on it. But, everything happens for a reason. The love you feel was lost, was never for you. The job you passed on, was not for you.
I have realized where I am in my life is the right place for me. I'm happy, I'm loved, and I'm doing what I enjoy. And, I'm looking forward. In life, we go through things and we reflect back and we don't realized how we made it. Sometimes, we feel a relationship was right, even when it was wrong.
You have to envision yourself living in that dream home, driving that car, employed on that job, and being in that great relationship....whatever you heart desires, it's possible!!! But, you can't look back. Keep looking forward and reaching for your goals. And, when you achieve those, set new goals.
Life is a journey and it is to be enjoyed. Yes, you will face obstacles, personal and business, but, keep a positive attitude and stay focused. As I continue to move through life, I will not dwell on the past. Everything I need and desire is in front of me.
Remember, you can't go forward, looking back!!!!
Create a Better Day!
Toni Love
http://www.tonilove.com/
Author: "The World of Wigs, Weaves, and Extensions" (Walmart.com/everywhere books are sold)
Facebook: Toni Love Cosmetology
Twitter: @cosmogirl205
Thank you for all the birthday wishes and gifts last month. I had a a very memorable birthday and I'm so grateful to still be here; alive and healthy!! As we age, we are supposed to grow and expand our minds. Sometimes in life, we get "stuck." We get stuck on the "woulda, coulda, shoulda." I hear people saying what they should have done or what they could have done to move forward in life.
They say it as it relates to personal and business matters. Many times, we think about a lost love and we daydream about what could have been or a business opportunity that presented itself; and we passed on it. But, everything happens for a reason. The love you feel was lost, was never for you. The job you passed on, was not for you.
I have realized where I am in my life is the right place for me. I'm happy, I'm loved, and I'm doing what I enjoy. And, I'm looking forward. In life, we go through things and we reflect back and we don't realized how we made it. Sometimes, we feel a relationship was right, even when it was wrong.
You have to envision yourself living in that dream home, driving that car, employed on that job, and being in that great relationship....whatever you heart desires, it's possible!!! But, you can't look back. Keep looking forward and reaching for your goals. And, when you achieve those, set new goals.
Life is a journey and it is to be enjoyed. Yes, you will face obstacles, personal and business, but, keep a positive attitude and stay focused. As I continue to move through life, I will not dwell on the past. Everything I need and desire is in front of me.
Remember, you can't go forward, looking back!!!!
Create a Better Day!
Toni Love
http://www.tonilove.com/
Author: "The World of Wigs, Weaves, and Extensions" (Walmart.com/everywhere books are sold)
Facebook: Toni Love Cosmetology
Twitter: @cosmogirl205
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Social Media: Good and Bad
Hello Everyone!
I would like to discuss the positive and the negative effects of social media. I have interviewed many people pertaining to this subject matter and the feelings are "mixed" amongst the group. I will start with the "Good," as it pertains to social media.
Today, seemingly, the most popular sites are Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube. MySpace was very popular, as it is responsible for the Hip Hop artist Souljah Boy. This young man posted his music on MySpace and became a household name. Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube are responsible for the success of many people. Such as, Justin Beiber, whose mother posted a video of him on YouTube, singing and playing instruments.
Many celebrities use these outlets to connect with fans and keep them abreast of their latest projects. Business owners use these outlets to showcase their work, contact customers, and acquire new business. Students use these outlets to connect with friends and family. Military personnel utilize these outlets to keep in touch with their families as they travel. Large companies and chains use them for mass marketing purposes. And, politicians use them to get their message to the people and as an avenue to raise money for their campaigns.
Social media is good when used correctly and positively.
Now, I want to discuss the "Bad," as it pertains to social media. In the news, you may have heard about celebrities being stalked. Many celebrities "tweet" or "post" too much personal information about their daily lives. They have the right to do it, and stalking is WRONG, as we live in a free country. But, in this situation, caution is required for safety.
Many people are getting robbed because they are "tweeting and posting" about their vacation, telling criminals they are not home for days. People are "tweeting and posting" throughout the day, telling the world where they are, what resturant in which they are eating, etc. A social media analyst stated, "once you share with friends on these outlets, people can share your information with whomever they like, whether you know the person or not; and, once the information is out, it's in cyberspace forever. Therefore, people should be careful as to what they share."
One person I interviewed, shared a story of a man who vacationed and posted pictures of his trip daily, only to come home to find his cars had been stolen and his house burglarized. A young lady who was dating a married man, who claimed he was leaving his wife, saw pictures of them dressed up preparing to go to a social function, church, etc. She saw the new furniture and paint color throughout the house. She even saw pictures of him with his wife, on the dates he had been with her, and wearing the same clothes.
He and the pictures told a different story. She realized he was selfish, manipulative, and very comfortable playing the role. Later, when something happened in her life, she really needed him to be there, and because she didn't "sleep" with him and allow him to stay over for a few days; he didn't show up, text, e-mail, or call.
"He's so arrogant, dumb, and comfortable, not realizing I have DIRECT access to his wife through social media," she stated. Being a great liar, when he's caught, she feels, he already has a lie prepared to tell his wife. Although, she has proof of the affair. She finally realized this is nothing new for him, it's his way of life.
Another young lady sent out pictures of herself in underwear, standing over a sleeping, married, famous football player. She posted the pictures online for the world to see, as well as e-mails, flight itineraries, and personal messages. This is NOT the first incident involving cheating being exposed through social media, it's in the news almost monthly.
Children are being bullied through social media sites. Most of these children are not equipped to handle the pressure and they do drastic things. Through my research, I found bullying is not limited to children, there are documented cases involving adults.
Today, people are moving so fast. As we go through life, we can't take others and situations for granted. In the past, people could get away with things and the chances were "slim to none" of them being caught, but, not today, the probability is greater. As we travel this journey, we should try to do good things and be mindful of the feelings of others.
Social media has been a blessing to many and a curse to others. Overall, I think the "Good" outweighs the "Bad." Because of social media, people are more informed, family and friends are staying connected, and people from all over the world can read this blog!:-)
Until Next Time!
Create a Better Day!!
Toni Love
http://www.tonilove.com/
Facebook: Toni Love Cosmetology
Twitter: @cosmogirl205
Author: "The World of Wigs, Weaves, and Extensions"
I would like to discuss the positive and the negative effects of social media. I have interviewed many people pertaining to this subject matter and the feelings are "mixed" amongst the group. I will start with the "Good," as it pertains to social media.
Today, seemingly, the most popular sites are Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube. MySpace was very popular, as it is responsible for the Hip Hop artist Souljah Boy. This young man posted his music on MySpace and became a household name. Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube are responsible for the success of many people. Such as, Justin Beiber, whose mother posted a video of him on YouTube, singing and playing instruments.
Many celebrities use these outlets to connect with fans and keep them abreast of their latest projects. Business owners use these outlets to showcase their work, contact customers, and acquire new business. Students use these outlets to connect with friends and family. Military personnel utilize these outlets to keep in touch with their families as they travel. Large companies and chains use them for mass marketing purposes. And, politicians use them to get their message to the people and as an avenue to raise money for their campaigns.
Social media is good when used correctly and positively.
Now, I want to discuss the "Bad," as it pertains to social media. In the news, you may have heard about celebrities being stalked. Many celebrities "tweet" or "post" too much personal information about their daily lives. They have the right to do it, and stalking is WRONG, as we live in a free country. But, in this situation, caution is required for safety.
Many people are getting robbed because they are "tweeting and posting" about their vacation, telling criminals they are not home for days. People are "tweeting and posting" throughout the day, telling the world where they are, what resturant in which they are eating, etc. A social media analyst stated, "once you share with friends on these outlets, people can share your information with whomever they like, whether you know the person or not; and, once the information is out, it's in cyberspace forever. Therefore, people should be careful as to what they share."
One person I interviewed, shared a story of a man who vacationed and posted pictures of his trip daily, only to come home to find his cars had been stolen and his house burglarized. A young lady who was dating a married man, who claimed he was leaving his wife, saw pictures of them dressed up preparing to go to a social function, church, etc. She saw the new furniture and paint color throughout the house. She even saw pictures of him with his wife, on the dates he had been with her, and wearing the same clothes.
He and the pictures told a different story. She realized he was selfish, manipulative, and very comfortable playing the role. Later, when something happened in her life, she really needed him to be there, and because she didn't "sleep" with him and allow him to stay over for a few days; he didn't show up, text, e-mail, or call.
"He's so arrogant, dumb, and comfortable, not realizing I have DIRECT access to his wife through social media," she stated. Being a great liar, when he's caught, she feels, he already has a lie prepared to tell his wife. Although, she has proof of the affair. She finally realized this is nothing new for him, it's his way of life.
Another young lady sent out pictures of herself in underwear, standing over a sleeping, married, famous football player. She posted the pictures online for the world to see, as well as e-mails, flight itineraries, and personal messages. This is NOT the first incident involving cheating being exposed through social media, it's in the news almost monthly.
Children are being bullied through social media sites. Most of these children are not equipped to handle the pressure and they do drastic things. Through my research, I found bullying is not limited to children, there are documented cases involving adults.
Today, people are moving so fast. As we go through life, we can't take others and situations for granted. In the past, people could get away with things and the chances were "slim to none" of them being caught, but, not today, the probability is greater. As we travel this journey, we should try to do good things and be mindful of the feelings of others.
Social media has been a blessing to many and a curse to others. Overall, I think the "Good" outweighs the "Bad." Because of social media, people are more informed, family and friends are staying connected, and people from all over the world can read this blog!:-)
Until Next Time!
Create a Better Day!!
Toni Love
http://www.tonilove.com/
Facebook: Toni Love Cosmetology
Twitter: @cosmogirl205
Author: "The World of Wigs, Weaves, and Extensions"
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Are You a BIG Fish in a Small Pond?
Hello Everyone!!!
Being from a small town in Alabama, I want to discuss something I've observed over the years.
I like to call it the "Big Fish, Small Pond Syndrome."
Traits of this "syndrome" can been found in in all ethnic groups, genders, and in people of all walks of life. These people tend to be narcissist.
For example, in the beauty industry, there may be a hairstylist in a small town, very popular and has great skills. She loves the attention and recognition from the small town community. Her skill level exhibits the craft of a great creator, but, because of fear and overconfidence, she stays in the community. Eventually, she hits her glass ceiling and becomes frustrated with her life. Yet, because of the attention and recognition, she settles, years later, she looks back with regrets. She was afraid to move, travel, and explore. She allowed her friends, family members, clients, and others to tell her how great she was and she bought into it. They told her, the city is too big and she would never make it, she shouldn't move, it's too dangerous. And, without faith and understanding how to market herself properly, she stayed in her small town, and she's miserable.
I "Thank God" I had parents who exposed me early and encouraged me to travel and see the world. My father is deceased, but, we traveled together a lot. Today, my mother continues to encourage me to go and explore the world.
One of my mentors, Mr. Dudley, says, "Stay home and grow dumb!"
Narcissistic behavior can fool the person who displays it, especially in a small town. These people think they are so great and everyone gets excited, when in their presence. They are so full of themselves and selfish. You may not see or speak to these people for long periods of time and when you do, they act as if you should be so happy they are communicating with you. If you were involved in any manner, they feel you should pick up where you left off. (no growth)
They try to align themselves with important people to impress others. And, to have the small town community people look at them as if they are so great. Without these important alliances, many would be boring and have no conversation of interest. Once these "Big Fish" are "stripped down, there's nothing there.....no substance. Therefore, whether it's their spouse, children, co-workers, dating within the "supposedly priviledged family," etc., they don't care, as long as it gives them that "status" or that "look of success."
I have a former student who married a young man she thought was from an affluential family, only to find, they were in debt and living off each other to impress people. Narcissistic behavior is found on ALL levels. Many people grow up poor and when they achieve a bit more than the average person, they start to feel as if they have "ARRIVED."
I notice people who live in larger cities and return home frequently to hang out with the small town people to feel important. In the larger cities, they don't stand out and no one comes around, so they go home to feel validated.
In my industry, I notice when people become a Platform Artist or they have a booth at a hairshow, or achieve any level of success, their egos kick in and their demeanor starts to change. The same person you saw when you were starting together, will past you and not speak, six (6 months) later.
When I was teaching, I saw it in parents. It's sad when parents make their children think they're so great, the children become narcissist. They become full of themselves and start to look down on others with the encouragement of the parents.
I notice it in couples, they stay together to show a "united front" to the people, yet, they are not happy. Therefore, the children in the family learn to exhibit the same behavior of "pretending" to be happy and everything is so great. Usually, one of the partners in the marriage becomes really good at being deceptive and a great actor. One or the other feels they have it under control, because in the small town, no one would imagine this person of such status, stripped down, really has nothing going on. Therefore, they shy away from people who can see the "real" person and will hold them accountable.
Being around that person makes them uncomfortable and vunerable. So, they continue to play it safe and stay in their comfort zone of lying, cheating, pretending, and acting. While the other spouse is so involved with impressing people, they have no clue of what's really going on.
Being a narcissist comes with a price, rarely do these people get to experience pure happiness and the joy of being themselves. Role playing takes alot of work! Many don't really like themselves or they bear some sort of shame. They don't want people to know the real person inside or the real story of their lives.
For those of you reading this, whether you live in a small town or a big city, stay true to yourself. It is soooooooo liberating!!! Follow your dreams and your heart. To the hairstylists, business people, couples, children of narcissitic parents, and others; take inventory of your life and ask, "Am I Living my Best Life?" or "Am I Putting ALL of my Energy into Being a Big Fish in a Small Pond?"
If you answered the latter, you don't know what you're missing, Life is Good!!!!
Create a Better Day!!!
Toni Love
http://www.tonilove.com/
Facebook: Toni Love Cosmetology 2
Author: "The World of Wigs, Weaves, and Extensions"
(Sold on Walmart.com, Amazon.com, and anywhere books are sold!)
Twitter: @cosmogirl205
Being from a small town in Alabama, I want to discuss something I've observed over the years.
I like to call it the "Big Fish, Small Pond Syndrome."
Traits of this "syndrome" can been found in in all ethnic groups, genders, and in people of all walks of life. These people tend to be narcissist.
For example, in the beauty industry, there may be a hairstylist in a small town, very popular and has great skills. She loves the attention and recognition from the small town community. Her skill level exhibits the craft of a great creator, but, because of fear and overconfidence, she stays in the community. Eventually, she hits her glass ceiling and becomes frustrated with her life. Yet, because of the attention and recognition, she settles, years later, she looks back with regrets. She was afraid to move, travel, and explore. She allowed her friends, family members, clients, and others to tell her how great she was and she bought into it. They told her, the city is too big and she would never make it, she shouldn't move, it's too dangerous. And, without faith and understanding how to market herself properly, she stayed in her small town, and she's miserable.
I "Thank God" I had parents who exposed me early and encouraged me to travel and see the world. My father is deceased, but, we traveled together a lot. Today, my mother continues to encourage me to go and explore the world.
One of my mentors, Mr. Dudley, says, "Stay home and grow dumb!"
Narcissistic behavior can fool the person who displays it, especially in a small town. These people think they are so great and everyone gets excited, when in their presence. They are so full of themselves and selfish. You may not see or speak to these people for long periods of time and when you do, they act as if you should be so happy they are communicating with you. If you were involved in any manner, they feel you should pick up where you left off. (no growth)
They try to align themselves with important people to impress others. And, to have the small town community people look at them as if they are so great. Without these important alliances, many would be boring and have no conversation of interest. Once these "Big Fish" are "stripped down, there's nothing there.....no substance. Therefore, whether it's their spouse, children, co-workers, dating within the "supposedly priviledged family," etc., they don't care, as long as it gives them that "status" or that "look of success."
I have a former student who married a young man she thought was from an affluential family, only to find, they were in debt and living off each other to impress people. Narcissistic behavior is found on ALL levels. Many people grow up poor and when they achieve a bit more than the average person, they start to feel as if they have "ARRIVED."
I notice people who live in larger cities and return home frequently to hang out with the small town people to feel important. In the larger cities, they don't stand out and no one comes around, so they go home to feel validated.
In my industry, I notice when people become a Platform Artist or they have a booth at a hairshow, or achieve any level of success, their egos kick in and their demeanor starts to change. The same person you saw when you were starting together, will past you and not speak, six (6 months) later.
When I was teaching, I saw it in parents. It's sad when parents make their children think they're so great, the children become narcissist. They become full of themselves and start to look down on others with the encouragement of the parents.
I notice it in couples, they stay together to show a "united front" to the people, yet, they are not happy. Therefore, the children in the family learn to exhibit the same behavior of "pretending" to be happy and everything is so great. Usually, one of the partners in the marriage becomes really good at being deceptive and a great actor. One or the other feels they have it under control, because in the small town, no one would imagine this person of such status, stripped down, really has nothing going on. Therefore, they shy away from people who can see the "real" person and will hold them accountable.
Being around that person makes them uncomfortable and vunerable. So, they continue to play it safe and stay in their comfort zone of lying, cheating, pretending, and acting. While the other spouse is so involved with impressing people, they have no clue of what's really going on.
Being a narcissist comes with a price, rarely do these people get to experience pure happiness and the joy of being themselves. Role playing takes alot of work! Many don't really like themselves or they bear some sort of shame. They don't want people to know the real person inside or the real story of their lives.
For those of you reading this, whether you live in a small town or a big city, stay true to yourself. It is soooooooo liberating!!! Follow your dreams and your heart. To the hairstylists, business people, couples, children of narcissitic parents, and others; take inventory of your life and ask, "Am I Living my Best Life?" or "Am I Putting ALL of my Energy into Being a Big Fish in a Small Pond?"
If you answered the latter, you don't know what you're missing, Life is Good!!!!
Create a Better Day!!!
Toni Love
http://www.tonilove.com/
Facebook: Toni Love Cosmetology 2
Author: "The World of Wigs, Weaves, and Extensions"
(Sold on Walmart.com, Amazon.com, and anywhere books are sold!)
Twitter: @cosmogirl205
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Time to Spring Clean
Hello Everyone!!!
We're in the first quarter of the year and it's time to "Spring Clean!" During this time of year, many business owners are attempting to gather all needed information for tax preparation. This is also a great time to make sure all other things are in order, personal and business.
Take time to check expiration dates on licenses and important paperwork. Check the salon's inventory and order needed supplies. This is also a great time to do spring cleaning. This doesn't have to be a major "undertaking," so, start small. Get the staff together when the salon is closed, go through and start throwing things away.
If you haven't used something in a year or more, it's time to get rid of it. Some people hold on to things with the intention of using it and never do. Go through drawers in your work area and clean them, they tend to get really junky. Also, the storage closet, be sure to give it a thorough cleaning, being it tends to get full pretty quickly.
As the manager and/or owner, it may take a complete day to clean the office. As paperwork piles up easily without immediate attention. Sometimes, you have to close the door and make it a priority to get things completed. But, in many cases, it's easy to hide things in drawers and file cabinets. Again, if something hasn't been used in a year or longer, throw it away!
Although, for the overall salon, this is a great time to change the paint, if, only in one room. It's a great time to change the accessories, such as, a garbage can. For example, if it's white, change it to stainless steel. Or, change a picture on the wall or hang another set of curtains. Sometimes, chaining from white blinds to a different color can give the business a new "vibe."
So, get busy this year, again check your licenses, expiration dates on important paperwork, if your relocating, be sure to change your information at the postal services, and take inventory of your personal and business life. As some people say, "out with the old, in with the new!!!"
Happy Cleaning!!!
Until Next Time.........
Create a Better Day!
Toni Love
Author: "The World of Wigs, Weaves, and Extensions" (sold everywhere)
www.tonilove.com
Facebook: Toni Love Cosmetology 2
Twitter: @cosmogirl205
We're in the first quarter of the year and it's time to "Spring Clean!" During this time of year, many business owners are attempting to gather all needed information for tax preparation. This is also a great time to make sure all other things are in order, personal and business.
Take time to check expiration dates on licenses and important paperwork. Check the salon's inventory and order needed supplies. This is also a great time to do spring cleaning. This doesn't have to be a major "undertaking," so, start small. Get the staff together when the salon is closed, go through and start throwing things away.
If you haven't used something in a year or more, it's time to get rid of it. Some people hold on to things with the intention of using it and never do. Go through drawers in your work area and clean them, they tend to get really junky. Also, the storage closet, be sure to give it a thorough cleaning, being it tends to get full pretty quickly.
As the manager and/or owner, it may take a complete day to clean the office. As paperwork piles up easily without immediate attention. Sometimes, you have to close the door and make it a priority to get things completed. But, in many cases, it's easy to hide things in drawers and file cabinets. Again, if something hasn't been used in a year or longer, throw it away!
Although, for the overall salon, this is a great time to change the paint, if, only in one room. It's a great time to change the accessories, such as, a garbage can. For example, if it's white, change it to stainless steel. Or, change a picture on the wall or hang another set of curtains. Sometimes, chaining from white blinds to a different color can give the business a new "vibe."
So, get busy this year, again check your licenses, expiration dates on important paperwork, if your relocating, be sure to change your information at the postal services, and take inventory of your personal and business life. As some people say, "out with the old, in with the new!!!"
Happy Cleaning!!!
Until Next Time.........
Create a Better Day!
Toni Love
Author: "The World of Wigs, Weaves, and Extensions" (sold everywhere)
www.tonilove.com
Facebook: Toni Love Cosmetology 2
Twitter: @cosmogirl205
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